Sunday, June 29, 2014

Early Relationship Romance- How Much is Too Much Romance?

When you start dating someone new, there is always that short period of time when you don't actually know what they like as far as being romanced, but you feel socially obligated to do things like: bring flowers, buy chocolates and wine, or plan elaborate dates that end up costing you both a small fortune.

Which begs the question: how much romance is too much romance?

If you've started dating another dating for disabled member and you are just at the budding stages of your relationship, you may very well be constantly worried about whether or not you are making a good impression, and what over-the-top things can you be doing in order to insure that they like you.

The problem with going over the top is this: 1. It isn't going to necessarily guarantee someone will like you. 2. It costs a lot of money you don't necessarily have. Don't forget, that quite a few dating for disabled members are living off disability or a fixed income. If make a romantic gesture, the person you are dating will probably feel the need to reciprocate it, even if they don't have the financial means. 3. You don't know them that well, and you may even be doing things that they don't like. What if you've been buying them flowers, and they suffer from avid hay-fever? The bottom line is this, being romantic means making sweet gestures the other person will appreciative, and given that you've only been dating for a short while, how can you be sure they are really appreciating what you are doing?

Moreover, you may cause them to feel that it's too much too soon! It's ok to slowly ease into things. Save up the romance for later on in the relationship.

So, here are a list of alternative gestures, that may not be after-school special worthy, but they will help you make a good impression on the dating 4 disabled member you are currently going out with:

1. Listen! Make a conscious effort to listen and get to know the person you are dating. You can impress them by casually slipping back into the conversation things they said on a previous occasion, or from when you were chatting on the dating site. Trust me, this will earn you way more brownie points than flowers.

You may have already gotten to know quite a bit about them whilst you were chatting on dating for disabled, but that isn't to say there isn't a lot more to learn!

2. Show up on time, be respectful, and be genuinely interested in what they have to say!

3. Make small gestures- if you've been going out for a month or so, do nice things for each-other. If you go shopping buy them that bar of chocolate that they love. Or buy their favorite cake for dessert.

We tend to just assume that romance is what we see on TV, but it isn't! It's the little things we do for the people that we are dating simply to show that we care about them. If you want to make someone feel warm and fuzzy inside you don't need to fork out the cash for a 5 star restaurant, you need to listen to what they say and do things that you know will make them happy, not things you think SHOULD make them happy.

At the end of the day, while you may have been chatting on dating for disabled for ages before going out, you still have to take things slowly. Don't get ahead of yourself when it comes to big romantic gestures, and get to know the person you are going out with.  

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