Monday, May 19, 2014

Topics You should Avoid on a First Date

First dates can be stressful enough without the added stress of actually having to talk to the other person. If you met on an online dating site, like dating 4 disabled, you've probably already got a few conversations under your belt, so in some regards it isn't quite like the classic blind date. But that said, you've never actually talked face to face (unless of course you've already skyped, in which case you're ahead of the game). But talking face to face isn't quite like chatting on a dating site; you don't have as much time to collect your thoughts, and think about your responses. You can carefully construct your words before hitting the"send" button, a privilege you do not have in "reality".

Here are just some ideas for topics of conversation you should probably avoid if you would like to keep things "light" on your first date. The reason for this is the objective is to get to know one another. If you end up arguing over politics you are NOT only not getting to know one another, but you may also end the date with a negative feeling.
Topics you should try and avoid talking about on a first date:

1. Exes. Don't talk about your ex wife or husband, about the last relationship that crashed and burned, or about how emotionally scarred you are. These are things you should talk about, but later on, not on a first date. 

If you've gone on a lot of online dating site dates, you can share some funny stories if you like. Funny stories are always acceptable, but try and not bring up your whole dating history. Sharing stories about bad dates is a great way to break the ice, but you also don't want to cross that line that will leave your date wondering if they are going to make the list as well. 

2. Politics, religion, or anything taboo. Look, if someone isn't of your religious denomination, or if they hold political opinions different to your own, and if for you that's a deal breaker, find this out ahead of time. After all, you've already been chatting on dating for disabled, find this out before agreeing to go on a date. 

Arguments like this can never end well, so just steer clear of them. 

3. Disability. If you both have the same medical condition or disability, then it is absolutely fine to bring it up. But if your date hasn't talked about it in person, or online, let them bring it up when they're ready to do so. The point of disabled dating sites is to allow you to have everything on the table, but some people still feel uncomfortable discussing the topic, or they would like to bring it up themselves when the feel ready. That is something that should be respected. 

4. Marriage and Kids. The great thing about dating sites is that you may have both listed in your profile that that is something you are looking for. But, you should still not jump the gun! The first few dates are meant so you can feel each other out and see how serious you both are. First you should see if you are even compatible, or for that matter, like each other. 

5. Anything that seems to make your date uncomfortable. Pay attention to the person sitting in front of you! If they seem awkward or tense because of a topic, change it! 

Don't talk about things that are taboo, elegantly change the subject if your dates looks uncomfortable, and you should be fine. Just get out of your head and focus on your date! If they look like they are enjoying the conversation, and having fun, they probably are! 

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